High-Functioning Anxiety: When Everything Looks Fine on the Outside
June 14, 2026
From the Practice · Pride Month
You Don’t Have to Get It to Show Up.
A warm, honest guide to supporting the 2SLGBTQIA+ people in your life even when you’re still figuring it all out.
It’s okay to feel a little lost.
Many older adults grew up in a time when these topics were never discussed or were spoken about only in hushed, often negative tones. That leaves gaps. Those gaps aren’t a character flaw; they’re simply the shape of an era.
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Confused?
That’s an honest place to start. Curiosity is welcome here. |
Worried?
About saying the wrong thing, or losing someone you love. Both are real fears. |
Trying?
The fact that you’re reading this already says something beautiful. |
🌈 | First things first What does 2SLGBTQIA+ mean?It’s a welcoming umbrella for people whose gender or sexuality differs from what was long assumed to be the default. Behind every letter is a person, someone’s child, neighbour, grandchild who simply wants to live honestly. |
“Confusion is not the same as rejection.
You can be unsure and still choose warmth.”
5 Ways to Show Up Right Now
💛 | Keep showing up. Don’t let uncertainty become distance. A phone call, a meal, a simple text, your presence is the whole message. |
💬 | Ask gently. Listen fully. “Can I ask questions sometimes? I want to understand you better.” That offer alone is an act of love. |
🌷 | Use their name & pronouns. Try. Mistakes happen, just correct yourself and keep going. The effort is the whole message. |
📖 | Learn at your own pace. Books, library programs, short videos, there are gentle resources that explain this calmly. Curiosity is a form of care. |
🤍 | Say it out loud. “I may not always get it right, but I love you and I’m not going anywhere.” These words cost nothing and mean everything. |
A few things to avoid saying
These often come from a place of genuine curiosity but they can land harder than intended.
✕ | “It’s just a phase.” This dismisses an identity that may have taken years of courage to name out loud. |
✕ | “I don’t see why they need to make it everyone’s business.” Heterosexual people share their relationships openly every day. Living honestly isn’t a statement it’s just living. |
✕ | “I love you, but I don’t approve of your lifestyle.” To someone who has just shared something deeply personal, this can feel like a door closing. Love and conditions are hard to hold at the same time. |
✕ | “You seemed so normal before.” They are exactly who they’ve always been. They’ve simply trusted you with more of themselves now. |
If something slips out, acknowledge it, apologize simply, and move on. The relationship is bigger than any one moment.
What if I say the wrong thing?
Instead of… A long, elaborate apology that puts the burden on them to comfort you. |
Try this… “I’m sorry, I got that wrong.” Then correct yourself and keep going. Simple is kind. |
What matters most is your direction, are you leaning toward this person, or away? That’s what they’ll remember. |
🕊️ | Holding complexity What if your values feel in conflict?There is a difference between theological disagreement and interpersonal cruelty. You can hold your own worldview and still choose not to make someone feel ashamed of theirs. Many people navigate this quietly, every day. A therapist can be a gentle, non-judgmental place to work through the complexity. |
“Allyship isn’t a credential you earn once. It’s a quiet practice choosing, again and again, to stay close.”
The people in your life aren’t asking you to
become an expert. They’re hoping
you won’t disappear.
You don’t need a Pride flag or a perfect vocabulary. You just need to keep showing up with warmth, with curiosity, and with the willingness to say: I love you, and I’m still here.
With care,
MPC
